Is anyone else picturing the onslaught of diet talk and New Year New You ads and wishing you could just…skip it? The truth is, I don’t want to skip anything. I know that each day is a gift (yes even the garbage ones) and that life is too short. I still am not excited for the next 3 weeks of “biohacking” and “best diets” ads. As more and more info emerges, we are learning that diets don’t work. I don’t talk about it very often, largely because I’m really just coming to understand it myself, but as a person with a history of disordered eating these posts have me bouncing between sadness, empathy, and rage. This isn’t a nutrition blog though, and I am not here to write about diets. If you want some more information on the Health at Every Size movement, please check out this link to a Scholarly Article on the subject. Pay particular attention to the section titled: Independent Effects of Fitness and Diet on Health if you’re not up for a full article read.
I know I know, you’re thinking to yourselves, “OK Lauren but like you said, this isn’t a diet or food blog, why even bring this up??” Stick with me. If you are spending this January chanting, “New year, new you” over and over again and trying to “break” all your old habits and build new ones, take a moment and ask yourself why. What is so wrong with you that you have to break everything you’ve ever done and start over? There’s multiple entries in this blog reminding you that you are good. That you should trust yourself. Why after all that would you try to change everything that makes you who you are? I’m not saying there’s no room for improvement. Of course there is! But do you really have to start over?
This is a fully unedited pic of my and my besties Lisa and Nikki on New Years Eve. We haven’t had a New Years Eve together in years and all three of us were full of joy.
The picture above is me with two of my best friends. We had an amazing New Years together and I wouldn’t change one thing. I hope the rest of this year is filled with the joy of being together and the freedom of being who I am.
Now, we’ve been trained our whole lives that the new year is a good time to reset and make new behaviors. While I don’t want to tear myself down to build back up, I am definitely taking the time to think about what works for me and how to make my life (and the lives of those around me) better in the future. I’ve taken a look at my processes and asked myself if they’re working. I’m making edits where I think it would be useful. I’m reminding myself that self care doesn’t have to cost money (but it’s OK when it does). I’m loosely tracking how I feel when I do certain things (like exercise, drink alcohol, drink water, eat vegetables) with the goal of doing more things that feel good without limiting things. I’m scheduling appointments with my doctors to give myself a tune up (seriously my car goes to the doctor more than I do what am I doing?) and making sure to advocate for myself in that process.
None of my goals have anything to do with breaking old habits. A lot of my habits are good and they’ve served me for many years. Some could be improved or changed but I don’t need to destroy myself for it. I’m still me and I want to be me in 2022 just as much as I did in 2021.
If you’re reading this and saying to yourself, “This makes sense, but every time I try to make a new goal, I’m just coming up with more habits to break.” try this: make a list of all the things you like about your life. Whether it’s a habit you do a lot or once a year. Write it all down somewhere. Make another list of things that cause frustration (like, “I feel like I waste half my life looking for my keys”. After you’ve done these things, sit down with the list of things you like. Really think about it (this could be two minutes but just read it for a bit) and consider if there are ways to get those joyful things to happen more often or to be more present in them when they do happen. Then look at the frustrations, how can you fix them? Pick ONE and save the list for later. Find a solution to the one problem. For example, my keys ALWAYS hang by my front door. It took me a while to learn this habit but I did and I almost never waste time looking for my keys anymore. You just need a good system. Once you’ve mastered that (really mastered not just made a plan), pick another thing off your list.
I’m no expert in behavior but I’m pretty good at knowing when I feel good and when I feel bad. Especially if I take a moment to think about it. I don’t always do a formal version of this process but it’s there, spinning away in the background most of the time. I hope it helps you.
I’d love to hear more about what you like about your life! And share your frustrations if you need some brainstorming help!