You know when you sometimes feel like life is a freight train that is steaming through and will keep going whether you’re on it, standing by, or in it’s path. The best you can do is to try very hard to be on it and do everything you can not to get flattened by it. That’s how I’ve felt the last month.
In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t what I promised in the post on the 11th, that’ll be next week. I missed a week too! So much happened and so much of it brought up feelings of inadequacy and fear so I wanted to share it with you. As I mentioned before, I recently bought a second house so I could rent out my previous one. I was, and still am, super excited about the possibilities this opens up for me but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. The thing with houses, like most things in life, is that you may have the best laid plans, a spreadsheet, budget, everything, and it still may blow up in your face. In this case, it did in some ways and didn’t in others. My budget was blown completely out of the water resulting in me resorting to credit cards again. I swore I would never do that but I needed to get the houses done because I certainly can’t float two mortgages for long. In this case though, I’m in a better position. There was still equity left in my other house and I was able to take out a Heloc (Home Equity Line Of Credit) which has a much lower interest rate and will allow me to pay off the card much faster and do a better job at tracking it. Last night I sat down with my planner and made notes and plans to both pay off the debt and make sure I’m facing it and managing it vs ignoring the problem like I have in the past. This morning I sat down with a very scary pile of bills and took care of them. This time will be different.
We can spend a lot of time saying we’ll never do “the thing” again but the reality is that we might. Sometimes it’s in your control and you make a mistake. Sometimes you have no control (maybe a medical emergency which in the states can be financially ruinous). Sometimes it’s a combination of both, which is what happened to me this time. I had both houses, I needed to get one rented, ultimately it was better than leaving it dormant but it’s a big risk and trigger for me. Regardless of what happens or how it happens, whether it’s financial, health, anything that might be a recurring issue for you remember, letting it happen again isn’t always a failure. it’s how you react to it. Do you bury your head in the sand again and let it run away with you. Or do you stop, reassess, move forward. I’m hoping for the second one and I’m working very hard to make sure that’s where I end up.